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    July 11

    鱼刺和流水

    上次回家,被妈妈吃饭卡鱼刺的两个经历笑的前俯后仰
    今次,我竟然也被卡到了......
     
    怎么卡着就不说了,上些有用的,从午饭卡后开记
    卡后10秒,为避免爸妈紧张,微笑着说 我也被鱼刺卡了
    卡后20秒,吞下三大口米饭,还在
    卡后40秒,吞下一大口排骨肉,还在
    卡后一分, 吞下两大口洋芋叉叉, 还在
    卡后一分20秒,喝下一大口醋,还在
    卡后一分40秒,又喝下一大口醋,这次在喉咙里咕嘟了10秒,希望鱼刺能充分溶解, 还在
    卡后两分,又吞下两大口洋芋叉叉,这次没有嚼,还在
    卡后两分30秒,吞下三大片太阳牌牛肉味锅巴,还在
    卡后三分,吞下两大口老妈做的菜包,还在
     
    二老压迫我速速往医院救治,我出狠招,声称要采用睡觉疗法........由于卡在左喉,故采用了左侧卧,开始午觉......
     
    插播两次老妈经历的背景:
    第一次,卡后不能言语,速达四医大口腔医院,被告知口腔不负责此类病症,前行至四医大夜间急诊,救治方法,拽住病者舌头,下钳,治前嘱咐,拔出给50,拔不出不收费第二天再来耳鼻喉科; 老妈的舌头老爸拽了数次拽不住,老妈自己来,医生快速下手,缴获鱼刺一根
    第二次,卡住,速往四医大方向疾驰,行至半路,老爸微感饥饿,于路边买肉夹馍一个,食之,老妈闻到扑鼻香气,索食,一大口之后鱼刺随肉入胃,遂返
     
    插播结束
     
    卡后一小时三十分,觉醒,刺仍在   二老以隔日返京后会发炎相威胁,遂决定医院救治
    卡后两小时,在四医大门诊大厅和急救中心间徘徊 ,虽然是周六,四医大依旧人员涌动,推测耳鼻喉科有50%的概率在周六上班,猜中~
    卡后两小时十分,四医大五层耳鼻喉科,医生用传统舌木板按压两次, 我做呕吐状两次
    卡后两小时十五分,医生肉眼看不到刺,遂要求做喉镜检查 ,费用180
    卡后两个半小时,进检查室,医生拿着一个罐子,分别往口腔,鼻腔喷洒四次,喷后告知此乃麻醉剂,含之
    卡后两小时四十五分,仪器旁,医生从消毒池里捞出好长的细管,管头亮亮,对准右鼻孔,插入
    卡后两小时四十五分到五十分之间, 细管从鼻孔,深入至口腔,再至舌根深处
                                               细管每深入一点,我企图推开面前的医生一次
                                               医生每次看到我的手推向他,就吼我放松一次
                                               我的企图从推开医生,变作掐自己手指头
                                               “找到了...很隐蔽......”医生拍照,抽出细管
     卡后两小时五十分,医生让室外的老妈去交拔鱼刺的费用100,让我含住咽喉里不知道那是一堆什么我总想吐出来的东西
     卡后两小时五十五分,医生叫来一个女医生,“来,你主钳”  “啊,没弄过这个” “没事,不难”
     卡后三小时,换了一张凳子,换了一个仪器,这个仪器,除了有细管,还有细钳
     卡后三小时十分,仪器二的细管下,到了仪器一确认的位置,
                         医生:“刺呢?” “比较隐蔽,我再转一下”  “刺呢” ,“你是不是咽下去了” “是不是”
                         我的动作  掐自己,掐自己 
                         我的脑子 “还在”,“还在” “MD你把管子抽出来” 
     卡后三小时十五分,医生抽出细管问 “是不是咽下去了”
                             我说 “口水有用我就不来了”
                             医生  “是啊,这个仪器的倍数,比那个仪器小,我们再照一次吧”
     卡后三小时十六分, 回到仪器一旁边,细管下, 再照一次,顺便让女医生也记忆了一下位置,细管出
     卡后三小时十七分, 回到仪器二旁边,拉开细管,把管状的细钳放入,右鼻孔,又进来了
                              加了钳子,管子赢了很多,更疼了
     卡后三小时十八分, 管子就位,女医生 “看到了,看到了,我横着还是竖着”
                              医生 “横着”“你扶着管子”  我手去扶管子 ,医生 “不是你...”
                               女医生 “我夹到了”  医生“你没夹到,再一次”  ....医生抽出管子
                              我很不爽,咽了口水说 “医生,第二次没夹到,其实第一次夹到了”
                               医生 “嗯,我们再来一次”
    卡后三小时二十分, 大家都休息了一下,最后一战,缴获鱼刺一根
    卡后三小时二十五分,又来了一个医生,问我坐这儿治什么, 医生说“鱼刺”,于是两个医生开始相互吹嘘自己拔过的鱼刺长度和硬度
    卡后三小时三十分,下楼,打车,回家
     
    到家,给老爸看鱼刺,老爸拿着就要咬,说“我吃了他”呵呵,逗
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    总结一下:
    医院救治鱼刺的科室: 耳鼻喉科, 急救中心
    医院救治鱼刺的工具: 耳鼻喉科:喉镜,喉镜+管钳     鼻腔入,麻药配合,有痛感,    成功率高,费用较高
                               急救中心: 人工拉舌,口腔钳   口腔入,无麻药,   无痛感但比较想呕吐,成功率不如前者,费用较低
    医院救治的副作用:麻药让人别的神经亢奋,我写下了有史以来自己最长的流水账,不过用了这么多鱼刺做关键词,又是原创,还算有几个知识点...估计能提高blog的PR值
     
     P.S.医生说能融掉刺的不是醋,是胃酸          
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

    Comments (13)

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    Xiao Yuwrote:
    哎呀,和四医大结下了不解之缘呀!!!
    July 30
    萌 徐wrote:
    李东要重出江湖了?怎么这么多年没有消息?
    shanshan,我今天下午去医院,回来给你打电话。
    July 29
    东 李wrote:
    貌似你在这里很活跃,我重新来支持你了
    July 29
    Xiuyuwrote:
    已阅
    July 27
    Rui Chenwrote:
    哈哈,看来我被卡的两次算运气好了~
    July 15
    weiquan Meiwrote:
    把鱼刺吞到胃里会不会更危险啊?
    July 15
    weiquan Meiwrote:
    真恐怖,看得心都砰砰跳...
    July 15
    Nan Caowrote:
    您这也太.....无语中....一根鱼刺看着折腾的....这就是为什么我坚决不吃鱼的原因!
    July 15
    霞 余wrote:
    可怜的娃,不过我对你卡刺后午睡1个半小时挺佩服的,超级有创意,哈哈哈
    July 14
    He jiabeiwrote:
    I have the similar experience as u . The worst part is I slept overnight and then the next day morning, I went to nearby clinic, that doctor cannot save me, due to short of facility, but he charged me 80 dollars for consultation fee, how easy money he earned for less than 5 mins. After than I took taxi and went to Hosptial, same menthod as yours , a small and fine tube flow into my nose and all the way down and came out from mouth together with little fish bone... haha....
    July 13
    天琰wrote:
    真惨啊,吃鱼还是要小心。。要是小刺估计慢慢就自己化掉了。。
    July 13
    松 小wrote:
    下次卡到直接去医院。如果不是你之前这样六吞两喝,鱼刺不会这么隐蔽。
    July 12
    Vivianwrote:
    老爸好可爱~
    July 11

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